Touring, Teetering and Evolving

I have been pretty neglectful of my blog lately.   Partly because I have been busy, and partly because I haven't created any new work in a while.  But I figured I'd update you all on what I've been up to.

I began shooting for a plus size clothing company back in November.  I started as just doing their retouching and resizing for the various platforms they sell their clothing on.  Within about 2 months, I began shooting their catalogue and editorial photos.  Here are some examples:







The website is flooded with my images. You can take a look here, if you like.
http://www.swakdesigns.com/

I have done a handful of headshot sessions within the last couple months, as well as worked on a couple shorts and music videos.  The latest was this past weekend shooting No Way North at the Salton Sea (one of my favorite places).  Here are some images from the weekend:









About a month ago, I received an award from the California Colleges Media.  To my surprise, I won 1st place magazine photo against ALL CALIFORNIA COLLEGES!  This was a huge honor.



 I also had the pleasure of creating the cover for Pierce College's student run magazine, The Bull, again this semester.  The theme was Heroism.



The last very important thing to mention is the progress I am making on my book.    Just starting it proved to be very difficult, and most of all scary.  Fear made me procrastinate, question and hesitate... a lot.  Last night I began going through all the possibilities in my head and on my computer.
Do I self publish?
Do I try to pitch to art book publishers and distributers?
But who the hell am I? Am I good enough to do that? or will I get laughed at?
How do I price my book?
If I am self publishing, the price to create 1 book is so high, I would have to sell each book at $50+.  Am I insane to think they would sell?
Do I go with a 20 pager or a 100 pager?
How many do I print?
How do I release them?
Was thins just an all around insane thing to try right now?
FUCK YOU, brain.

*GULP* The questions and insecurities go on and on.  I consider it part of the process- and the only way to process the fear is to just do it.  So I will.  Last night I began to sift through all of my files and pick the best of the best.  I created a folder on my desktop labeled "BOOK PHOTOS."  As of now, there are 57 images in the folder.

The other thing that stresses me out a bit is the fact that I want to debut a completed new series with the release of the book.  I have not been able to start a new series for about a year now.  Not only have I been focused on other things, like living and paying the bills, but I was forced into a massive shift in where my inspiration comes from.  The challenge has been getting back that fire.  I feel like I am almost there, but not quite. People say that with pain comes creation.  Not for me.  Through my pain I have felt stripped of any fire. I don't know when the pain will wilt. or when my fire will rise again, but all I can do is focus on progression, promotion and work.  I have faith that it will come. Eventually.